I have been on a roll lately with recipes.
I'm pretty much a professional cook now, yo.
Scott is working his one overnight shift for the month, so I usually don't cook anything, I just snack.
Tonight I made this, and it's a keeper!
What I used:
A bag of small, precooked, deveined shrimp
8 oz of cream cheese
4 tbl of Hellmann's mayo
Pepper, a shake of dried parsley, onion powder, paprika, and Sriracha
What I did:
I took the shrimp out of the freezer and threw them in a collander, then turned on MacGyver.
I took out a block of cream cheese, sat it on the counter, and finished MacGyver.
By then everything was thawed and at room temperature, so we're good to go.
I blended the cream cheese, and mayo until they were smooth. This took effort, I did it by hand whilst watching Scandal. I squeezed half of the lemon juice into the bowl and stirred some more. I added pepper, and the dried parsley, which by the way, has no flavor.
I tasted it, didn't really taste like anything, so I added some paprika and onion powder.
I chopped up the shrimp all Ree Drummond style because I was too lazy to set up the food processor.
I squeezed in the second half of the lemon, and then I mixed it all together, and ate it with these chips:
I liked it but it just needed some oomph.
Hellzyeah, I added Sriracha.
Stir it up, eat it up.
By the way if you come to my house, there is a bigass flamingo in the bathroom.
In typical Lisa-fashion, I found a recipe I liked, then butchered it until it resembled the original one almost ZERO.
I have no idea why I am like this as a person.
This is what I used:
2 Granny Smith apples, diced.
Maybe 1/4 cup of red onion. You're supposed to dice it, but I can't even.
2 cups of broccoli florets. From a bag, yo.
A big handful of shredded carrots.
1 cup of Hellmann's mayo. NOT 1/2 mayo 1/2 Greek yogurt. But you do you.
3 tbl of lemon juice.
I eliminated the cranberries (because, ew), and 1 TBL of sugar (because, diabetes)
I also added 2 TBL of sour cream and a handful of shredded sharp cheddar.
You don't have to be like me.
What I did:
I died, that's what. Scott was at work and I had to attempt to cut up the onion by myself.
It's a no from me. I diced the apples then added what little of onion I cut up. I didn't dice the onion because I wanted the flavor from the onion, but to NOT bite into a piece.
I then added the broccoli and carrots.
The best part? It called for chopped pecans. Now I watch Ree Drummond chop things all the time, with zero effort. Not only would I chop the tip of my finger off, nothing would turn out right.
I chopped the pecans in the most Lisa-way I could think of.
In a ziploc bag.
With a flash light.
I shook it all up, then added the "dressing".
Mayo, lemon juice, s&p.
I'm going to need my mother to look away.
Once it was all coated, I tasted it. It was good, but it just needed "something".
I added two tablespoons of sour cream, a handful of shredded sharp cheddar, and topped it with more pecans.
Whilst eating, I was thinking of all the things that I could add next time. Sunflower seeds, cubed sharp cheddar, bacon....
The opportunities are endless :)
10-ish years ago I remember making a Ham and Asparagus casserole for Scott. I didn't really dig it, so I assumed that I didn't like asparagus.
I kind of like asparagus.
I messaged *unnamed person* to confirm that I didn't like asparagus, LOL.
It's super easy to make.
Heat your oven to 425°.
I used a bunch? of asparagus. I just kept the middle part, I chopped off both of the ends.
A cup and a half of shredded Parmesan.
After the asparagus was prepped and washed, I put it in a ziploc bag with olive oil and shook it until it was completely coated. You must do a dance whilst coating it.
It's a rule.
Then add the s&p, garlic powder, and the cheese, then shake some more until it's complete coated.
Stick it on a coated pan and bake for 10 minutes.
It came out looking scrumptious, so I messaged *unnamed person*:
So there you go!
I ate it alongside blackened salmon.
I was convinced that I was not going to like this so I only took one picture.
However, they are happy for my tummy.
What I used:
2 lbs chicken tenders
Poultry seasoning (I have no idea what's in it)
Preheat the oven to 425°.
Dump the seasonings in a ziploc bag (as much as you will need to throughly coat the tenders), and shake shake shake. I did one tender at a time because of who I am as a person.
Wrap each tender in bacon, and place it on a coated pan.
Bake them for 35 minutes. I broiled them for an additional 3 minutes to make the bacon more crisp (insert Mama Grape quote), but it never quiet got it to where I wanted.
They were tasty, though.
I enjoy sports, binge watching TV, food, reading, and slightly bearded men.